Memory garden that your Mother has made for you.

Candice wrote this letter to her oldest sister Nicky when they

were young. It just shows what a sweet person she was........

Nicky, this is so special to have on her site.

 

 

July 7th 1984 - April 19th 2003

"Forever Eighteen"

This memorial website was created in the memory of our beautiful Candice Jo Bertram. She is our daughter, sister, niece, cousin, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, and friend. Candice was born in Wisconsin on July 07, 1984. On April 19, 2003 at the age of 18, she chose to leave this world by suicide.
 
I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. "Becky, it's Barb. Candy killed herself."  "What? No!!!" "She shot herself." "No!!!" Those words to this day ring in my ear. Such a helpless feeling settled in my stomach. "What do I do? What SHOULD I do? I'm the big sister here, I'm the oldest. I need to be there. I am supposed to make everything better." Candice's mother, Brenda (my sister) was out of state working. "Does she know yet? How will she drive home?  I need to be there for her."

I would give anything....anything.....to see her smile, hear her laugh, let her tease me, see her drive by, call me, email me, ask me for money, stop by and surprise me, anything..........

 Candice left behind so many aching hearts and a void in our family that can never be filled. There will always be the question “why” Candice left. Why would such a beautiful young woman with the entire world ahead of her want to leave??? What could we have done???

I feel her presence every day. I know that she is still with us.  I hear her voice in my dreams telling me that it is ok. She watches over us all and guides us through each day.

I hope that this site will help bring some comfort to all who love and miss Candice. Please light a candle for her. It will burn forever.  Share a story, poem, picture or write a tribute to her.

We love you forever Candice!!!

 

    

We love you and miss you!

 

CANDICE....................


You left the world without even saying goodbye...
You left us a letter but never gave the real reasons why...
Were you truly that lonely, did you feel you had no where to turn... Or did the flame in your heart no longer feel the need to burn..
Did we not love you enough, not show you that we care...
Did we not open our arms to you and let you know we were always there...
I'm so sorry we failed you and regret we didn’t get to say goodbye... For the day that you left us a part of our hearts also died...
But regret is a feeling and it won’t bring you home...
So, on this earth without you we all are now forced to roam...
We will all think about you and keep you in our hearts...
But inside our hearts are dying for we know we will always be apart...
We love you our daughter, our sister and our friend...
And we will hold your memory with us until the very end...
So rest well our dear Candice with God up above...
And know as in Heaven , down here on earth you will always be loved.............................................................................................. Your cousin, Angie

My Cousin Candice Jo
by Heather Bevan

In my life I have had to face many things
but never did I think
I would have to face what I did that day.
My Dad was the one to tell me as he held me tight
so I could cry for you in fear, and in pain.

I still cry sometimes when I go to see
your final resting spot.
You shuoldn't have to be there, not at 18.
It was just too soon to let you go.
All you had to do was ask for help.

But the pain is still here as it cuts me like a thousand knives.
It will get easier, that is what I hear.
But it will always hurt cuz your were my cousin
and I will love you forever and always
even when it hurts.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you
for the memories of yesterday are now the treasures of today.
Never will I forget you, my cousin
Candice Jo

Read by Candice's Aunt Cheryl at her funeral:


"On behalf of Candices' aunts, Barb, Becky and Cheryl, I would like to read their following eulogy":

Candice Jo Bertram was a fun-loving daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, girlfriend, cousin and of course, friend.
She touched many of our lives. We ask ourselves what we could have or should have done to prevent this from happening, and we can't find the answers. Only God ws able to help Candice. If she could have only known how each and every one of us feel about her today then maybe we would still see her here with us tomorrow.

Whenever Candice walked into a room she would always be wearing a smile. she loved to make people laugh.
Candice was a fun-loving, outgoing person. She would have made an excellent mother since she loved kids so much. She was  always willing to watch her cousins or her friends kids. It was her dream to run a daycare with her Aunt Barb, whom  she would help out from time to time.


Candice was an awesome athlete and even though she excelled at sports, the one sport she was strongest in and loved to play was softball.

We all have fond memories of Candice.........
--Her beautiful hair
--How she enjoyed playing cards and bean bags at family gatherings
--How proud she was of her new car
--Her love for animals
--Her dedication and athletic ability in softball
--And how Jeffry's eyes would light up when she walked in his house

We will keep those memories and so many more with us forever until we get the opportunity to reunite with Candice again.
With this in mind we would like to conclude with this poem by Marigrace Iodice entitled "God Needed A Friend".

DID GOD NEED ANOTHER ANGEL?
OR SOMEONE HE KNEW THAT WOULD CARE?
SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS THOGHT OF OTHERS
AND WHEN NEEDED WAS THERE?

DID GOD NEED ANOTHER ANGEL?
OR SOMEONE TO BE MORE HELPFUL IN HEAVEN ABOVE?
EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE TREASURED HERE ON EARTH
I GUESS HE NOTICED YOUR KINDNESS AND LOVE.

DID GOD NEED ANOTHER ANGEL?
OR SOMEONE HE KNEW WAS WORTHWHILE?
SOMEONE WHO SHARED IN HIS SPIRITUAL INSPIRATIONS
AND SOMEONE WITH AN AWESOME SMILE.

I GUESS GOD WATCHED YOU FROM HEAVEN
AND CHOSE SOMEONE HE KNEW WS SPECIAL.
AS I'VE CRIED TO GOD IN ANGER
WHY DID YOU NEED ANOTHER ANGEL?

THE ANSWER HIT ME AND IT'S QUITE SIMPLE.
FOR NOW I'M NO LONGER SADDENED.
BECAUSE GOD DID NEED ANOTHER ANGEL
BUT HE ALSO NEEDED A FRIEND.

I found a penny today
Just laying on the ground.
But it's not just a penny
This little coin I've found.
Found pennies come from Heaven.
That's what my Grandpa told me.
He said Angels toss them down
Oh, how I loved that story.
He said when an Angel misses you
They toss a penny down.
Sometimes to cheer you up,
To make a smile out of a frown.
So, don't pass by the penny
When you're feeling blue.
It may be a penny from Heaven
that an Angel's tossed to you.

You and Wes.....so many similarites.....be happy together sweetie

Please visit Wesley and light a candle for him.....
http://wesley-mcgoldrick.memory-of.com/About.aspx










We all miss you so much Candy!!!

                       PLEASE VISIT                    
     THE SUICIDE MEMORIAL WALL

       http://www.suicidememorialwall.com
   Candice is in section #3

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

www.afsp.org

Suicide Prevention Resource Center

www.sprc.org

Helping Others Prevent and Educate About Suicide

www.hopes-wi.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

National Suicide Hotline
Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1 (800) 273- TALK/ 1 (800) 273-8255

Daughter, I miss and love you
Love, MOM


      

If Roses grow in Heaven
Lord , please pick a dozen for me.
Place them in my daughters arms
and tell her they're from me.
Tell her I love and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her tight for awhile.
I love and miss her so,
this void can not be filled.
No one can ever take her place
Forever I will mourn
Remembering her comes easy,
I think of her everyday.
But theres still an ache within my heart
that NEVER goes away.
I LOVE YOU DARLING!!!!





Bertram, Candice Jo
PLATTEVILLE - Candice Jo Bertram, age 18, of Platteville died on Saturday, April 19, 2003, at her home. She was born on July 7, 1984, in Platteville, the daughter of Steve and Brenda (Lange) Bertram. Candice graduated from Platteville High School in 2002, where she was active on the softball and basketball teams. After graduation she attended Southwest Tech, Fennimore. While going to school she worked for New York Life Insurance as a receptionist. Prior to working there she had worked at Heartland Health Care Center, Southwest Health Center Hospital both of Platteville, and she also did home care for the elderly. She was a member of the Lutheran Church of Peace, Platteville. She loved to work with children, animals, and the outdoors, where she enjoyed bow hunting. She is survived by her mother, Brenda (significant other, David Stotlar) Bertram of Platteville, Wis.; father, Steven (Marsha) Bertram of Mineral Point, Wis.; two sisters, Nicole (fiancé, Brad Okey) Bertram of Platteville, Wis., and Sandra Bertram of Platteville, Wis.; a brother, Kelly Bertram of Platteville, Wis.; maternal grandparents, Clayton and Karen Lange of Platteville, Wis.; paternal grandparents, Melvin and Virginia Bertram of Platteville, Wis.; maternal great-grandmother, Lucille Lange of Platteville, Wis.; a half-sister, Chelsea Bertram; a half-brother, Cody Bertram both of Mineral Point; her boyfriend, Mike Hutchcroft of Platteville, Wis.; several aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, and cousins. She was preceded in death by her great-grandfather, William Lange; great-grandparents, Walter and Leila Peacock, Ed and Louise Hamilton, William and Leona Bertram. Funeral services will be 11 a.m. Thursday, April 24, 2003, at the LUTHERAN CHURCH OF PEACE, Platteville. Burial will be at Greenwood Cemetery, Platteville. The Rev. Nancy McCLurg will officiate. Friends may call from 4 p.m. until 8 p.m. Wednesday, April 23, 2003, at the Lutheran Church of Peace, or from 10 a.m. until the time of services Thursday at the church. The BENDORF FUNERAL HOME, Platteville is serving the family.






Candice's Puzzle
(This was your puzzle that you asked Aunt Barb to help you put together. It now hangs on her wall in memory of you.)



Candice Jo..........So long as we live, you too shall live, for you will always be a part of us. Our tears will flow until the day that we are reunited with you. We love you sweetheart.

 

to each and everyone of you who have lit candles, left a tribute or condolence, sent an email, or just stopped by to visit Candice's site. It means so much. I hope that you will come back again soon.
Becky